"You are bright enough", an open letter by daena

I was in my freshman year of college when I realized I was queer.

And quite honestly, I was as shocked as anyone else I told. Boy-crazy, Nick Jonas-loving, dress-wearing me: gay? The pieces didn’t add up. I tried to look back on my life growing up and spot “the signs”. There weren’t any.

But the only one thing that I knew, in my heart, to be true was that I had fallen in love with the most wonderful woman I’d ever met. So, if that made me queer, then I guessed I was queer.

It took a long, long time to figure out what that meant for me. I scoured the internet for answers, cycling through labels. “biromantic”. pansexual”. Dissecting my crushes on male TV show characters and attraction to the girls across the dance floor. Desperately looking for someone else who had been as blindsided by their own experiences as I had. And one of the biggest reasons I wanted to write about this, in my music and here in an open letter to you, is the hope that someone will stumble upon it who needs it, like I needed it when I was 18 years old in my freshman year of college and confused and feeling so alone. This is me, saying: you are not alone. You are beautiful, and more than enough, and everything that you are supposed to be.

The day “Bright Enough” was created was the first time that my co-writer Molly Adele Brown and I had met, but almost instantly, we connected over feeling like an outsider within the LGBTQIA+ community. Our other co-writer, Nell Maynard, was horrified and honestly shocked to learn about how we often felt. That somehow, after years of self- discovery and finally feeling comfortable with who I am, I still didn’t seem to fit other people’s definition of what it looked like to be queer.

And I can’t say I disagreed with Nell; to think that a group of people who have been discriminated against throughout history would (knowingly or not) push someone away because they’re different, is horrifying to say the least.

One of the lines in the song that really stuck out to me when we wrote it is: “am I on the outside of the outside of everyone?” And with that, I can’t help but think of my peers who are trans* and non-binary and BIPOC and see the toll it’s taken on them to feel trapped in a community that so often spews hate when it should radiate love.

I’m having trouble ending this letter. Because there’s no easy way to wrap all that up in a neat bow and have a happy ending for everyone. But I think what we can do, is know that there are people out there - always - who will love you, accept you, and support you, no matter what.

When I came out to myself, I tried to fit 18 years of emotions and understanding into a single semester of college. Realizing that I was never going to do that, and in truth, will probably be discovering and re-discovering who I am for the rest of my life, is honestly liberating. And the fact that I am lucky enough to have people in my life who will continue to stand by me through it all, with love, is all I need. You too, will find your people. You may not find them where you expect (I sure as hell didn’t find mine at gay nightclubs or partying at Pride or in lesbian stereotypes), but you will find your people.

I’ll say it again: You are not alone. You are beautiful. You are more than enough. You are everything you are supposed to be.

Love yourself and stream bright enough ;) love daena xx

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